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Im not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that Im not dumb. Short Inspirational Quotes and life sayings. One of the boys wandered off near a bush and the other wandered farther downstream.

For those who love to keep a collection of funny sayings these quotes could be handy when you want to cheer someone up or simply have a good laugh. Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list. I am tremendously not sorry that my sense of humor has offended your utter lack of it.

If girls always treated each other like we do when were drunk in the girls bathroom then the world would be a much happier place. I tried but they wanted cash. The hilarious moment always memorable in life.

Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them. Cindy from Marzahn 249. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store.

I have Alzheimers bulimia first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. Joan Rivers Click to tweet When nothing is going right go left. In life only three things are certain.

Contact us request a free quote. When he got to the bush where his friend was he saw a naked woman and ran away. If life gives you lemons make lemonade.

To me drink responsibly means dont spill it. Ad Need us to quote your move. Be positive The best things in life are free.

But so again are thunder and lightning. Funny Quotes And Sayings Short funny Words Life is not always perfect. Short people with an umbrella.

If there is an improvement thats your achievement good morning have a wonderful day. The only difference is that lawyers merely rob you whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. Death Adobe updates and taxes.

One day two kids were wandering around near a stream. Dont compare yourself with others just compare your today with your yesterday. 60 Short Funny Motivational Quotes.

If you want your children to listen try talking softly to someone else. The trouble is they are usually married to each other. When tempted to fight fire with fire remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Short funny quotes and sayings I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. Marriages are made in heaven. Age is of no importance unless youre a cheese.

The first time I see a jogger smiling Ill consider it. Like a road it has many bends ups and down but thats its beauty. So look around you wherever you see friendship loyalty laughter and loveƖ there is your treasure.

When you sit with a nice girl for two hours it seems like two minutes. Doctors are just the same as lawyers. The boy who was wandering downstream started to get lonely so he went to find his other friend.

And its important never to lose sight of that. You live learn and upgrade. Bill Murray 251.

Contact us request a free quote. Gary Delaney 248. Ad Need us to quote your move.

One-liners short funny quotes sayings thoughts and captions for your bio social status self-talk motto mantra signs posters wallpapers backgrounds. 40 Funny Quotes Of The Day And Short Funny Sayings Im not clumsy The floor just hates me the table and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way.

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