Dont talk with your mouth full. If girls always treated each other like we do when were drunk in the girls bathroom then the world would be a much happier place. That was a true but incomplete answer.
Its suspicious say all moms everywhere. Mom will you make me something to eat. Dont pick that scab itll get infected.
Im not asking you Im telling you Laura G. Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list. Best Funny Mothers Day Quotes.
Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife -Queen Victoria. Dont sit too close to the television itll ruin your eyes. Yes please whine to me about how tired you are today.
There are starving people in other countries Flordeliza D. Dont kick the ball in the house Erin C. Slam that door one more time and Im taking it OFF Stephanie M.
Make mom laugh so hard her stomach hurts or tear up with love with these funny Mothers Day quotes. So I became a Mom Unknown 3. Dont forget to vote for the funniest tweet.
The trouble is they are usually married to each other. I love cleaning up messes I didnt make. Worrying works she liked to say.
The only difference is that lawyers merely rob you whereas doctors rob. And just in time for Moms day Jimmy Fallon put up an announcement. If I had a choice I would rather go to war -George W.
You live learn and upgrade. Funny Motherhood Quotes 1. To me drink responsibly means dont spill it.
Someone once asked me why women dont gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we dont have as much money. Currently searching for my sons chocolate I ate last night. I dont want to sleep like a baby I want to sleep like my husband.
Dont go out with a wet head youll catch cold. Tweet out a funny or weird thing your mom has said and tag it with MomQuotes on May 3. Dont eat that youll get worms.
I used to have functioning brain cells but I traded them in for children 2. Our Fave Mommisms. Look at all the things Ive worried about that never happened Elaine Benton Hurst Texas The First National Bank of Mom.
43 Funny Mom Quotes and Sayings. From moms apologizing for butt-dialing somebody by telling them it was a booty call to moms who order pickles with extra cheeseburgers these tweets will remind you that moms really are special in every sense of the word. Funny Mom Quotes and Sayings About Food.
I want my children to have all the things I couldnt afford. Silence isnt golden. The closest I get to a spa day is when steam from the dishwasher smacks me in the face foreverymom.
Dont run in the house. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me but I think she enjoyed it. Funny Quotes Straight from the Top.
If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands. In fact womens total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. Quote for Moms on their 2nd 3rd or 4th pregnancy.
These funny motherhood quotes make it easy to laugh about the common problems all mother face. Ive been to war. Lots of people also use this medium to send their good wishes to their moms with the help of funny happy mothers day quotes.
Doctors are just the same as lawyers. These funny mom quotes will have you smiling even through the sleep deprivation. Hiding in the bathroom with the door locked eating Nutella.
If you want your children to listen try talking softly to someone else. The best part of parenting is eating the leftovers on your kids plate because anything left is calorie-free.