8282 1302 votes. You need a crown. I love being married.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream. -She The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity-Arthur Miller In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Sarcastic Quotes True Quotes Silly Quotes Dad Quotes Jokes Quotes People Quotes Funny Jokes Hilarious Drunk Humor. How do you communicate with a fish. Here we share the best funny life quotes about life and sayings You dont get to choose how youre going to die.
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Its so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Short Funny Jokes 32.
Aside from that itd be great if you can share this article on Twitter. You can only decide how youre going to live. The religious man replies no I have faith in God he will grant me a miracle.
What is love without some fun and giggles. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue.
-George Bernard Shaw Thats what. Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Funny Couples Memes New Funny Memes Funny Memes About Girls Super Funny Quotes Funny Quotes For Teens Funny Quotes About Life Funny Humor Funny Shit Sarcastic Humor. 8280 5019 votes. I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more specific Lily Tomlin 2.
But when I got home the tables were turned. Looking for the best funny phrases and wise words to sayings about life. Life quotes even if funny are meant to be internalized and the messages inside of them are the ones worth spreading.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture. 30 Funny Love Quotes. Funny Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life Love Struggles 1.
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. I gave him a glass of water. That one liner im not drinking too much tonight never goes as planned.
If there are any quotes you feel are humorous while still retaining profound value Id like to hear about it in the comments below. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. Light travels faster than sound.
Im spending a year dead for tax reasons. Murder yes but divorce never. Latest Funny Jokes Very Funny Memes All Meme Funny School Jokes Some Funny Jokes.
Moses was once a basket case. Steven Wright If I won the award for laziness. A man comes by in a boat and says get in get in.
Where there is no humor and fights there is no love. Drop him a line. Please send us your witty life qoutes Good clean yet free stories and jokes.
Life jokes that will give you vida fun with working happiness puns like So Tekashi could face life in prison and An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him Because you have lived a good and virtuous life I can offer you a gift you can be the most handsome man in the world or you can have infinite wisdom or you can have limitless wealth Reflecting the man says. If at first you dont succeed then skydiving definitely isnt for you Steven Wright 3. Now Joan Baez There are compensations for growing older.
Every time I told them people laugh no matter age or condition. Its the funniest joke in the world. Below is collection of some hilarious funny love quotes.
But there are some jokes that you do not have to be a professional to understand like this very funny jokes. My way of joking is to tell the truth. True stories after dinner humour urban myths and humorous short stories.
Best Funny quotes about marriage. Funny Life Quotes Group 2.